The Real Reason
by Gambe
Summary: Spoilers CoLS... Magnus couldn't handle it anymore. Being away from Alec was a punishment much worse than hell. But if he wanted to keep the boy save, he had to pretend that everything he said in the train station was true. That Magnus broke up with Alec because he felt hurt. Of course that having the real reason at his door, only made things worse.


The door was slammed by Jace, lifting a cloud of dust. That was the perfect example of how bad Magnus Bane's apartment was. He hadn't cleaned it since he was stabbed by Amatis. To be more exact, since the day he broke up with Alec.

To be honest, Magnus hadn't done much since that day. The pain in his heart was too much to handle. Everything reminded him about that man. The blue blanket he used to cover his body at night was very similar to the shade of baby blue that were Alec's eyes, the lame TV shows were all the couples stay together forever; Everything.

A soon as Magnus was absolutely sure that Jace was gone, he walked back to his spot in couch right in front of the Tv, where a horror movie was paused. It hadn't been Jace's first visit in the last couple of weeks. The Blondie came at least once a week, trying to convince Magnus to, at least, have a word with Alec. What Jace didn't know was that a word was more than he could bear. Actually, just the sight of him would do the trick. It would be enough to break him into tiny pieces that would never go back to place.

Trying to push those thoughts to a dark place in his mind, Magnus hit the play button. For as much blood as the movie could have, it wasn't enough to make him excited about the next scenes. In fact, the movie was just background noise. Something to give him the illusion that he wasn't alone. But no matter how much loud it was, his reality would always be the same. Magnus was by himself. He had pushed back everyone who tried to reach him. All he wanted was Alec. No one else mattered to him. The reason behind the break up was a very well kept secret. No one knew the real reason but Magnus himself. Well, him and one more person; the real reason.

In that moment, someone knocked. Every time something like that happened, Magnus tended to ignore. He was sure that none of those loud hands were Alec's. And if it wasn't, there was no point in getting up from his warm couch. Last time he did it, a very annoyed Jace had bothered him for over an hour. So, the warlock decided to stay exactly where he was. The last thing he wanted was another "Jace Episode"

Finally, when he realized that whoever it was wouldn't give up that easily, Magnus got up from his perfect nest, and cursing in every language he knew, made his way to the front door. He didn't even bother to ask who it was. Once he opened the now much heavier door, he wished he has stayed were he was a couple seconds ago.

"Missed me?" Her sweet, kind - childish voice asked.

"What do you want Camille?" Magnus sighed in a tired voice. From all people in the planet, she was the last one he wanted to see.

With his heavy steps, Magnus walked back to the living room, and curled in his couch. He was trying to forget that Camille was under the same roof as him, by doing his normal, monotonous life.

Of course that knowing Camille, Magnus knew that she wouldn't leave him alone that easily. "How much hostility. Is that how you treat your ex-lovers?" Her voice was filled with malicious. The perfect mirror of her wicked mind.

Magnus just ignored. Camille may have him in the palm of her hand, but he could still choose if he wanted to care about her or not.

"Maybe it's for the best, you know. If you receive me like that, I wonder how you would receive the Shadowhunter boy."

The mention of his blue-eyed boy made Magnus shiver. It was like when someone says the name of a long dead person that we once loved. Magnus would never hear his sweet voice say "I love you". That was one of the few things that kept Magnus sane; Alec's love.

In order to control himself, Magnus conjured a hot cup of steaming tea, hoping that would chill him. That was all that magic he was able to perform. Not eating or sleep was causing Magnus extreme tiredness.

"Must I remind you that I asked you to stay away from me?"

"I'm the one who has to remind you that I have you in my hand" Camille's voice sounded like a hissing whisper. She always had fun with those games of hers. Playing with everyone's feelings. "Don't test me Magnus. You better than anyone know what happens to the one's who do"

Magnus was never afraid of her. Being a powerful warlock always gave the necessary amount of courage to face anything. But he didn't feel the Magnificent Magnus Bane anymore. He ran completely out of braveness in his veins and his sparkly confidence wasn't the same anymore. He was just Magnus now. The little boy that saw his mother hang herself and son of the man that tried to kill his young and harmless self.

He got up from his couch as Camille tried to reach him. He didn't want to be near someone with so much hate and darkness inside. Someone that could destroy his heart and soul with one single snap of fingers. That was one of the few times in his life where Magnus was afraid. But he would never fear for his life. It was already too long to even care about. No. He was afraid of what that vampire could do to his Alec.

"I know" Manus's voice shake along with his body. He tried to keep his breath steady and slow. "If I do anything that doesn't pleases you, you'll go after him."

Camille's cold eyes looked like fresh ice that glows in the sun light. She knew that having Magnus under her control would give her great advantage over anything and anyone that could come from the upcoming war. Magnus was a powerful ally, and she knew it. And even though he wasn't as useful as he once had been, Camille insisting that she was doing it for love. And Magnus just tried to conform himself. He let her think that she had a big secret weapon in his possession. Otherwise, Alec would be in big trouble. And all, because of him.

With her usual wicked smile, Camille made her way to Magnus's couch, and spread herself in it like she had the right to.

"Good boy" She hissed like she was talking to a dog. Maybe that's what Magnus was for her. A pet she could order around, and control under the excuse of love. "But you know that I will not just go after him. I have people to do that for me. If you don't do exactly what I tell you, Alexander Lightwood will be just another Shadowhunter who disappeared for o reason at all."

Magnus didn't need to look into her eyes, or listen to her treating tone to know that she wasn't bluffing. Camille always gets what she wants, never really caring about who or what she might destroy in the way.

For a few minutes, Magnus just stared the emptiness that was his home recently. There was no motive to have his usual, cheerful status, or the glittery candles. All of that was pointless if his life was grey. "I already broke up with him. I pretended to be mad because of something that he had all the right to know –"

"When I first told you about our little meetings, you were mad." Camille reminded, a little smirk dancing across her lips, as her snake eyes bathed themselves with amusement.

"Not enough to destroy what we had!" Magnus shouted, barely controlling his temper now. "Do you know how hard it was to see those eyes glare at me, begging for a chance to explain themselves? Do you have any idea how it is Camille, to feel the tears of someone you love, burning your skin, knowing that you caused it in the first place? You don't. You don't because you can't feel love. You only know power, envy and vengeance. That's all your cold, stoned heart can feel"

"Stop!" Camille rose as she shouted.

It took only a second until Magnus was pressed against a wall, Camille's hand griping on his neck. His feet where inches above the floor. "If I were you, I would spare my treats for someone weaker than me, or I won't answer for my acts. I have no problem in killing another Nephilim" Camille moved her lips to Magnus's ear, so he could feel her, somehow cold breath as she spoke. "But first, I will torture him, and make sure you hear every shout, every begging. I want him to call your name in pain, and watch you unable to do anything to help him."

A shiver ran down Magnus's spine with the though. He couldn't control de images that Camille had putted in his head; A bloody Alec calling him, not able to fully use his lung, as Camille does another atrocity with his body. All the marks are far gone, and there's no part of his body speared. It was all covered in dark bruises, only hidden by the red smudges of blood. Those blue eyes, the trait that Magnus always liked the most about his Alec, are full of pain and beg for help. They where the perfect picture of Alec's soul in any situation.

"If you want to see your pet Shadowhunter kill demons and do whatever a Nephilim does, you just have to follow my rules" Camille said.

Snapping out of his fantasy, Magnus stared the bond girl in front of him,

Magnus was starting to panic. He could feel it. That was part of why his voice could only come out in a scared whisper. "You want me to kill Raphael."

"That's not the only thing, now is it?" Camille's voice was a whisper too, though hers didn't have the slightest touch of fear. Instead, it was malicious, mean, and full of hidden tricks. Places that Magnus had once visited, and promised never go back to.

"You want me next to you. Be your ally in battle. And after that…" Magnus couldn't bring himself to say the rest. The words were stuck in his throat. He wished he could just leave it like that. Like if not saying the words, would make them inexistent. But Camille would never allow it. If she wanted to hear him say it, Magnus had to say it. "I'll have to be your lover. Be with you for the rest of my existence. But you know what… you won't be able to keep me here forever."

Magnus was sure that Camille could hear the hesitation in his voice. He could hear it himself. The though of a hurt Alec were like a million needles pierce his heart all together.

"And why is that, Magnus? Why will you ran away from me in a couple years, maybe even kill me because of the pain I am causing to you now?" Seeing that Magnus wouldn't answer, Camille stepped closer to him, making sure that he could hear the threaten tone in her voice clearly. "Say it! Both you and I know that it will happen someday."

"I won't say it. Now get out of my house!" Magnus shouted, feeling a terrible headache, make his way to his busy head.

"Fine. I'll go." Camille replied, not moving a muscle. "Who knows what my next stop is. I heard there's a demon nest in the park near the Institute. Maybe the Shadowhunters are taking care of it right now.

"You wouldn't kill him. Not when you need Alec so desperately." That's what Magnus holds himself to. The belief that Camille needs to keep him alive, in order to keep Magnus around. She knew, just as well as he did, that Alec was the only thing stopping Magnus form doing something stupid. His love for that boy was the anchor of Camille's plans.

Camille turned around from Magnus, letting her blond locks run with the air. Magnus could spot some tension around her shoulders. "Just like I said Magnus, don't test me. I can sure you that if don't obey me, your little darling will suffer the consequences. Although, I know that you're a good boy that will do anything I order"

Turning on her heels again, Camille planted a kiss on Magnus's lips. Nothing too rough or even soft. It was something meaningless. Just a cold pair of lips touching a pair of bare ones. But somehow, it felt like Magnus was cheating on his Alec. Alec was his, and he was Alec's.

The second the door was slammed, Magnus fell on his knees, not able to control the sobbing mess he was turning into. What was the point of living, if his life was miles away from him? Why did he have to get up from there exactly? To please the woman that he once believed that loved him, but that actually only desired his power and body? How did his life reached that point? Maybe it was in the day Magnus started to give up on what make him happy, and embraced a life where darkness consumed him.

Once, he heard Jace say; "To love is to destroy. And to be loved is to be the one destroyed."

Maybe that wasn't a joke after all.


End file.
